Lazy Me!

I'm being terribly lazy these days, not when it comes to blogging or surfing or chatting or watching TV, but when it comes to studying. Even though I know there's an important exam coming up and all my friends are mugging away relentlessly like there's no tomorrow, here I am, blogging and simultaneously chatting!

I need focus, no distractions (of which I have plenty, serious and not-so-serious), and concentration. Common sense and a good grasping power I have been blessed with, thankfully. Focus and concentration I can manage, but who's going to stop those distractions?

Okay, I admit that I should be able to handle distractions. I can handle some but if I ignore the others, well, then errr.... I'm in big trouble. Fights, arguements, tears et al. I would love to write about them (the distractions and the consequences of ignoring them, I mean) here, but on second, no no, fourth thoughts, I can't explain the problem to the whole world, can I?


LOL, I just learnt that the template I'm using is called 'Fat Puppy' by the Blogger guys. I didnt realise that the cute little puppy was FAT! ROFL! :-))))


PS-- Early mattresses were filled with straw and held up with a rope stretched across the bed frame. If the rope was tight, sleep was comfortable. Hence the phrase, "sleep tight."

It's late now. Good night and sleep tight. :-)

Taking it in the stride

I don't mind anyone saying anything to me. I'm immune to others' ramblings.

I don't care what anyone says about me, good or bad.

I say this because I received flak for the Britney Spears entry. I'm not sorry if her fans were hurt. It wasn't a personal attack on her character or her work. Her music is great, she has immense talent and is lucky enough to have broken records at such a young age. All I can say is, her fans don't appreciate points of view differing from theirs, nor a good piece of writing. :-)

Why am I even saying this? I don't need to justify (my blog entry) or prove myself to anyone.


The Oldest form of Blackmail

Whoever said we Indians are an emotional race was 100% right. Indians tend to over-emotional about anything dear to them. Take the Sachin Tendulkar episode for instance. Poor Mike Denness complied with the rules and look what he is getting now.

And when it comes to family, Indians don't look left or right, throw away their common sense, over-react to silly things and then begins the saga of emotionally blackmailing their children. (Yes, I used a very strong word, but it's the right one). Emotional blackmail is reminding your children how you raised them and sacrificed for them, and then tell them that they should forget their career plans and opt for the profession of the parents' choice. Ditto for life partner. Ask anyone. You will know what I mean.

Parents( I mean Indian parents) think they oblige their children by raising them. But isn't that just the moral duty of every parent-- to provide food, clothing, shelter, education and comfort? Now where does comfort have a chance when your offspring is busy getting over emotional blackmail?

She's so Lucky

Lucky because every girl would die to be where she is now.

Lucky because more than half the men worldwide, young and old, have wild fantasies of her.

Lucky because girls envy her liposucted figure and cosmetically-altered innocent and plastic smile.

Lucky because her talent was recognised as a child.

Lucky because she can never stop smiling since someone is always 'clicking' her.

Lucky because she is surrounded by bodyguards 24/7.

Lucky because even a visit to her parents' house in Louisiana generates major publicity.

Lucky because her privacy is a major issue even though she never never gets it.

Lucky because she never had a normal childhood. She was always practising for shows.

Lucky because guys want to know what's below her steep neckline.

Lucky because she is a Teen Sex Symbol.

Lucky because she is the ultimate 'babe'.

Lucky because she can never be herself.

Lucky because she is on top.

It's lonely at the top.

Yep, Britney Spears is one very lucky girl. But I'm luckier. :-)

Guilty or not Guilty?

I don't know whether the Little Master is guilty or not, because ten different people handing out ten different opinions confuses me. And in this case, unlike others, I cannot decide for myself since I don't know much about bowling, least of all, about the ball.

Ignoring my ignorance about bowling (only bowling, mind you, not cricket), we Indians, as usual are over-reacting and becoming excessively passionate about the game we claimed to have lost interest in because of the dwindling team performance.

But Mr.Tendulkar should take it in his stride and look at the situation with an optimistic eye. Now he knows how much the nation still cares about him-- protecting and defending him like a tigress shielding her new-born cub. (Sorry for the dreadful simile, but I just couldn't resist comparing our nation to such a fierce animal. USA isn't the only powerful nation you see.)

As for Mike Denness, well, he has received much more publicity than he did during his 19-match stint as the English Test Captain. He has taken a strong stand and has proved his grit and determination by keeping shut (as per ICC rules), annoying the already-infuriated Indians even more. Having people burning your effigy does not affect politicians or terrorists. But it does affect a match referee who likes to play by the rules. After all, he is but human.

Spare him a thought.


To err is human, to forgive, divine.


You don't need to be goody-goody or righteous to do so, but compassionate and sensitive.

Smarter kids, huh?

Everyone says kids are smarter these days. By kids, I mean those below 10 years of age. They can understand, observe, respond and argue better than the previous generations at their age!

And all this is thanks to the pre-schools and pre-pre-schools and the pre-pre-pre schools which weren't there even in my time. By the age of one and a half, kids are off to school and get some serious work done-- all in preparation for the Final Exam, interview for the Big School.

To enter the Big School, the student (the kid I mean) has to undergo a group interview conducted by the school teachers. Mind you, the child is alone in a room with strange kids and even stranger adults. In other words, most of the children get nervous in such an atmosphere. And the shy children lose their tongues. ABC is forgotten, Mary runs away with her little lamb and 123 is far away.

And the ONLY deciding factor is the interivew. The tongue-tied children obviously fail this interview miserably and when the rejection letter comes from the school, who is to be blamed? The system, the school, the parents, or the poor child who doesn't even know what the letter is all about?





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Flood for Love

Back to the topic of guys. Yep, yet again. Nope, I'm not obsessed with them. But almost every new day ushers in a new fact about them which disgusts me even more and I feel I just HAVE to write about it. After all, I can't share it with my Mom, can I?

Anyway, so I was saying that there is this guy who thinks that flooding computer screens with emoticons will actually get girls attracted to him. Want to know what I think of it? NO COMMENTS.


Bang goes Big Bang!

I hope you know or have at least heard about the Big Bang Theory which describes the origin of the universe. However, it just explains what happened after the bang. It does not explain how or why the Bang occurred. Here's a theory which explains how. It's called the Inflationary Theory. Check it out online.


About Anthrax

There's a big hype in the US of A about anthrax. But don't be surprised if you hear of anyone in India dying from it. It's quite common here, as it is in Middle East, Africa, Asia, and Latin America.
Learn more about it on www.emedicine.com


War? What War?

Some say that the bombing of Afghanistan was a big failure, others say the war is almost over. What we get from the media may be half-truths. Learn more about the myths and facts about Afghanistan and its people. Clear your doubts, learn the truth. :-)


PS-- If you come across any interesting article pertaining to any topic ( I mean anything!!), please mail me the link! I would love to read anything!

The REAL Truth

I've had enough of listening to nonsense, most of which is untrue. I HAVE to let out the truth.

You see, most people (I mean older generation) have a totally wrong picture of teens. They have the general idea that teens are cool dudes or dudettes, who only watch movies, party, go for late night drives, and run away from responsibilities. And all this because that's what teens like them to believe.

But they are quite different from what people (again I mean older generation) believe. And I've decided I'm going to convince you about it.

Now, just like in Physics we have ideal or hypothetical situations which we use for comparing with practical situations, so applies to teens. Confused? Hold on, I'm clearing things up. What people think about teens is the 'Ideal Teen'. But what teens really are is the 'Practical Teen'. The Ideal Teen, just like the hypothetical situation in Science, does not exist.

Given below are the characteristics of an Ideal Teen. Check if ALL of them match with a teen you know. If and only if all the features listed below match any teen, then the Ideal Teen exists.

Characteristics of an Ideal Teen

1. An Ideal Teen has no pimples.
   
2. An Ideal Teen watches at least one movie a week.
   
3. An Ideal Teen has around 10-15 friends in his/her group.
   
4. An Ideal Teen studies only only the night before the exam.
   
5. An Ideal Teen is always disrespectful and rude.
   
6. An Ideal Teen hates any kind of work.
   
7. An Ideal Teen changes his/her girl/boyfriend every fortnight or month.
   
8. An Ideal Teen never attends lectures.
   
9. An Ideal Teen hangs out with his/her friends almost daily.
   
   
   Think about it now. You will realise soon enough that an Ideal Teen is non-existent in nature.
   
   Then who are those whom you see in short skirts and sleeveless vests? Those are the Practical Teens. More about them some other time.
   

What Girls Want

Just heard about a guy who claims he has done a study on girls and knows what they want. (But he won't reveal the details of the study and research results to other guys). He claims that's the reason why girls swoooooon over him. Blah! I didn't! In fact, he doesn't know head or tail of what girls want, I think. For one, he couldn't remember my name! (Remember the famous one-liner- 'I'm sorry I forgot'?) Now what could put off a girl more than that?
Kudos to his research and hope he keeps up the good work! Happy boasting, fella!

DuMb AnD dUmBeR

Men can boast about their smartness and intelligence as much as they can, but when it comes to women, those same qualities run away to Timbuktoo. Most of them can never NEVER understand when a girl has a crush on them. It's always the GIRLS who figure out such things and tell their guy friends about the girls who like them.
Brains gone for a toss, guys?

But I must admit that some girls are even dumber. More than half the time a stupid does not realise that a guy is fed up with her and is aching to move on. It's not difficult to read a guy's actions, or is it?


Mail me at: grafologist@hotmail.com

Famous One-Liners


The following is a list of all-time famous one-liners I have compiled. Any girl will be able to identify with them. Read on.....


'I'm doing a Survey.'

Now where have I heard that before???? Of course, no statiscian (I'm not sure if it's the right word) will come and tell you "I'm doing a survey." The only times I have heard this statement is when a guy asks a dumb question like: "Do you have a mike for your PC?" or "Does Hrithik look better with or without the stubble?" They usually go on about such silly things to know what's on the girl's mind, and, when suddenly she asks "Why?", the guy replies with an exaggerated degree of coolness: "I'm doing a Survey". Hah! And some dumb gals actually buy that..... God help them!


'Please trust me.'

And then there is a dialogue patented only to guys-- "You can always trust me." Yikes!!!!!! Girls, please DO NOT fall for that. It's just a statement with no meaning behind it. You can only trust them to call you up and bore you to death, or ask for notes. The latter is very very rare.


'I'm sorry I forgot.'

This breed of guys is the Forget-me-not-even-if-I-forget-you type. One fine morning, a guy who talks to you everyday in the classroom or corridor will ask you, "Ummm, I'm sorry but I forgot your name." In that case the best a girl can do is SMILE widely and reply very sweetly, "Never mind", and walk away graciously. :-)




Mail me at: grafologist@hotmail.com

Back!!!!!!

Whoa! It's absolutely great to be back online, I was absolutely itching to get back here. Now that I'm here, I don't know where to begin.

It's Dhanteras, the eve of Diwali, so Happy Diwali to anyone who is reading this. Wish you prosperity and good luck for the year ahead. May God shower you with his blessings, happiness and all the good things you could ask for blah blah blah...


Want a new cricket bat? You got it! Just open your wallet, dole out some hard cash and then go for the boundaries!


If you want to earn more cash the coming year, then all you have to do is hope that you receive the maximum number of greeting cards this year. The connection between the cards and cash is that more the number of people that wish you good luck, the more you earn. Sounds strange, but I think it works. The greater the number of pics of Gods you get, more the income.   :-)

Alternative Uses for Mobile Phones

I did a research on the uses of the old mobile phone models which are more than a generation old and are embarassing to carry with you. Examples: Ericsson GA 318, older versions of Nokia and the other brands.(I remember the model number of Ericsson because I used it many moons ago.LOL!)

Surprisingly, I came up with a number of uses these phones can be used for, besides talking of course. Here are some of them, addressed specifically to those who possess the above-listed models:

1. The phone can be used as a weapon against attacks by muggers, kidnappers etc. The reason is simple: the phone is heavy enough to be used as a rock. So if you know all those karate and judo and sumo wrestling kicks and punches, please pass on the phone to your spouse or child or friend who are not trained in self-defence. Also pass on the instructions that one punch from the phone will knock out the attacker.
   Please note: In most cases, the phone-punch will not be required since one glance at the mobile will scare the attacker, and he will run for his dear life.



2. The phone is also very helpful if you wish to have biceps like those of Salman Khan and Arnold S. (Sorry, I can't spell his surname). Your phone is very similar to weight with a dumbell. Just curl your fingers around it, and then use it as you would use a dumbell. The great advantage here is that you can exercise anywhere-- in the cinema, at the traffic signal etc.



3. Another terrific use of your phone is that it can instantly make you a hero. This is how it can be done:
   Take the example of a bank. You are in the bank when there is a hold-up. Now all you have to do is approch the robber from behind, touch his back with the aerial-side of your phone, and simply say:"It's a gun." The aerial will feel like the barrel of a gun to the robber. He will immediately flee, and you will be a hero!
   You can use it in a similar way in case of a hijack.
   However, please note that in case there are a number of hijackers or robbers, it will be better if there a few more people with similar phones.



4. Lastly, the most IMPORTANT advantage. After I publish this research in a reputed techno magazine, the demand for your phone will instantly shoot up and will fetch you a great price.
   Be sure you give me 50% of the amount!

PS--The above blog entry and research is dedicated to Mr.He-knows-who-he-is. Take heart, fella-- your Rs.1500 is worth much more now!


Make sure you mail me and tell me what you think of it. LOL! :-)

Now what shall I write in my blog?

About the time I met SRK or about India's pathetic performance in SA?

Or shall I type in the lyrics of 'Oops! I did it again' because it's playing on TV now and I'm mouthing the words..Oops I did it again, I played with your heart, got lost in the game....Blah blah blah....

Forget it. None of all that. That would be be soooo terribly booooring, and I'd rather jump in a deep well than get bored or bore someone else! LOL. :-p

Talking of TV, check out Sliders on weeknights at 8 on Hallmark and Full House at 6.30 pm from Monday through Saturday on Zee English. The latter has a great theme song. :-) And Sliders has a cute actor, Jerry O' Connell. But I think he might be gay ( I said 'might', he may or may not be so, okay?). BTW, don't you think Leo DiCaprio is a homo?

Mail me at: grafologist@hotmail.com

No junk or spams please!

Junk!!

Urghhh!! I just hate junk mail. I remember the first time I got junk mail. I read '25 new mails' in my inbox. "Wow!" I thought, "I have so any friends and I am so popular!" I opened my inbox, and what I saw was mails from strangers with very strange names and even stranger subjects ranging from free printer ink to special offers to hardcore porn links!

No matter the number of filters, there is always some junk in my inbox. HELP!!




Lagaan for Oscars?

Aamir Khan's film Lagaan is India's entry for the Oscars this year. Great film, have seen it thrice and would love to watch it again. The performances are good, the music is fabulous, it's entertaining, what more could an avid movie fan want?

But when it comes to pleasing the rascist Americans, it stands nowhere. Which American, firstly, would understand cricket and gilli danda (I myself don't know what the latter is!). And then who would sit to watch a 45-minute cricket match between the British and Indian villagers? Indians would, perhaps the British wouldn't mind watching their team lose to a bunch of illiterate villagers, but what about the Americans which form the bulk of the Oscar jury? They would absolutely love Lagaan, if they knew the 'C' of Cricket.

Give it a thought.


Mail me at:grafologist@hotmail.com

In the Doldrums

Type. Backspace. Type. Backspace. That's what I'm doing now. Not that I don't know what to enter in my blog, or that I'm bored....but just confusion. No, no, perhaps not. A more subtle way of putting it would be-- "I've got other things going on in my mind." A rather good excuse for just sitting back and doing nothing, thinking of nothing, and planning nothing. My mother would probably call it The Big L: Lazzziiiiiinessss. Psychologists would say:" A rather complex function and activity of the human mind that creates a sense of emptiness and loneliness....blah blah blah....." Whatever you would like to call my state-- confusion, laziness, or boredom, be assured (or agitated), it's none of it. The best term would probably be 'a bit off-colour and down'.

I don't know why it happens.... do you?



PS--Try this:
Take the day you were born x4 ,
+13 ,
x25 ,
-200 ,
+ month you were born,
x2,
-40,
x50 ,
+ last 2 digits of the year you were born ,
-10500.

What do you notice ?

Mail me at: grafologist@hotmail.com