Dada's Fury

Once upon a time I was a die-hard Sourav Ganguly fan. Oh well, things change. People change. Ganguly changed (or rather, his performance).

If Dada's I-was-asked-to-step-down comment is true (and everyone says it is), then it just shows that this man worked when he felt his "secure" position was threatened.

As Ganguly has said ever so often, he doesn't really care about what people write or say about him. So the man simply ignored his criticism in the media and in the cricket world. He continued to be comfy in his seat as the captain of the Indian cricket team, and no one could touch him. It's quite possible that neither the Indian management nor his team-mates opposed his captaincy overtly. And if they did, they were probably the ones who didn't matter in the larger scheme of things (like the BCCI, top management, or the selection committee).

But when Dada perceived a real threat to his position and a possible end to his days of power, he pressed the panic button, and put up a match-winning century. I have a hunch that if the "step down" statement had not been made, there would have been no century, perhaps no runs at all. Should a team leader (in sports or elsewhere) have such a mental make-up?

Greg Chappell was Ganguly's choice for coach, and the coach is a man who doesn't hesitate to give his opinion. Ergo, dear Dada, you two have different working styles, and he refused to play the typical Indian political games by speaking his mind. Plus, he bruised your ego, so what? Get over it.

I earlier thought Greg Chappell was a decent coach. Now I think he's just awesome.

Rock on, Greg! (And speak up more often).

PS- Is there a Greg Chappell: Speaks his Mind fan club?

ToI apes BT?

September 13, 2005: The Times of India, Mumbai edition, Page 8:

Kareena replaces Rani as Aamir Khan's co-star

Randeep Hooda, Sushmita in int'l project

Yup, these are real headlines from a supposedly-real newspaper.

What a title!

I still haven't been able to figure out why Salaam Namaste is titled so. It's named after a fictitious radio station (I assume), but it still doesn't make any sense.

Why I'd not watch the movie again:

• Director Siddharth Raj Anand seems to be a Karan Johar disciple, with the "special effects" introductions, the cinematography, even the costumes. I'd rather watch the guru's film.


• Too much time was spent on introducing unnecessary people, and their background stories made me yawn. Sure, Javed Jaffrey was funny, but was that character needed at all? Of course, the movie could have been at least 45 minutes shorter then. Where are good editors when needed?


• Sitting through the melodrama in the last half hour was painful. Watching Preity Zinta overact was even worse.


• Question to Saif: Are you trying to be the next Salman? In terms of male "exposure", I mean. Saif, I'd say you have a great torso, but we're already bored of them, thanks to Sallu.

OK, I admit the movie was not that bad. But the story, the "turn" of events, the dialogues, were predictable. It could have been another Chalte Chalte or Saathiya, except, of course, that the couple wasn't married.

I'd rather watch Iqbal a second time.

Road Laughter

Some hilarious car licence plates I saw in the US:

• ROCKSTR: driven by a hot guy driving a red BMW


• 4COWGIRL


• NO1 BIRD


• 101 NEW: Okay, we get the point. But your car won't be new forever, will it?


• THX MADA: As K Jo would say, It's all about loving your parents!


• MOM OF 7: Wow, that's some job


• SALAAM 2 U


• A1 AMER: Hmm... America may be Numero Uno, but your Prez cheated you


• A FAMLY2


• PAPY: I still can't figure out this one

Everyone's Dying!

If the sale of anti-depressant pills has shot up in the last week in India, the pharma companies know whom to thank.

Ekta Kapoor, of course.

Why?

Because she's killing everyone- first Om, then Bajaj. Poor, poor TV viewers.

The Art of War

The book came highly recommended, and I have read a couple of chapters, but it hasn't started making sense yet. Am I trying too hard to see the metaphor too soon?

Football v/s Cricket

According to an Indian Express story:

Blanket TV coverage of almost all top leagues... has created a set of fans as well versed in the skills of Thierry Henry as they are in the batting stats of Rahul Dravid.

Hmm... sounds good. So when can we expect our team to make it to the World Cup final? By 2025? Or 2050? I'm waiting.

PS- I may have just taken a few lines out of context from the story. The story is worth a full read.

Disclose Dowry, Get Job

According to a Supreme Court order, government male employees should be asked to disclose whether they had taken dowry. The SC is hopeful that this will discourage dowry-giving-and-taking.

I don't see the purpose of having such a rule, simply because no person of sound mind will voluntarity provide dowry information to the government, especially since he knows that more the details he gives, more will be the questions asked. Declaring dowry could be a nice way to attract trouble towards yourself.

And let's not underestimate our government officers. The people who ace the IAS exams aren't exactly duds.

Sample this:

"Do you think government servants will do that [disclose dowry details]?" asked a top official from the state’s General Administration Department.

"We will always find a way to escape this," he told Newsline.

True to character, the order hasn't even been implemented, and the bureaucratic high-handedness has already begun to show. Contempt of court, anyone?

P.S.- How about asking political candidates to disclose their dowry details?

We're not the only ones

Only 5.6 per cent of the reported rape cases in the UK end in conviction. And it also turns out that trainee detectives are handling rape investigations.

And I thought such things could happen only in India.

Soft Porn at Indiatimes

Want to read the most ridiculous article on Sexual Violence*? This one will disgust you.

If you don't want to read the story, or are just plain lazy to click above, read the introduction:

Rape has been trivialized in Hindi films to such a degree that instead of getting sympathy from the audience it attracts scorn and indifference. Rape scenes were introduced in films as an excuse to bring a twist to the story and give the hero a cause to fight for, or to eliminate a character from the plot (the victim almost always committed suicide). It was also a weapon to establish the vile character of the villain.

Say what? Seems like the writer has done a PhD on rape scenes in Bollywood. And umm... where is this leading us?

The diligent writer continues:

... the filmmakers started taking advantage and turning rape into titillation. The scenes were shot to entertain the predominantly male audience. Gruesome close-ups and lewd remarks added to the thrill of the frontbenchers.

I have a vague suspicion here that the writer is trying to either depict him/herself as a feminist or sympathise with women by making such statements.

The story goes on to give a detailed list of 20-odd most brutal rape scenes in Bollywood. Here's a sampler:

Bhrashtachar
This film has one of the most explicit rape scenes ever. Anupam Kher plays the rapist. He watches leeringly a drugged Shilpa Shirodkar and the camera focuses on her lying in bed that slowly rotates. She is shown in a disheveled state with camera zooming in on her assets. She comes out of the stupor and tries to run but he chases her around. Laughing and leering, he carries her back to the bed and then rapes her.

Adjacent to the above paragraph is an almost-titillating picture of Shilpa Shirodkar, low neckline et al.

Some questions I'd like to ask:

• Isn't Indiatimes supposed to be a family website?


• So someone high up the Indiatimes ladder decides this article must be put up. But why label it Sexual Violence?


• I thought Indiatimes, or rather, the ToI group supposedly had their fingers on the pulse of the readers (with their high circulation figures etc.). After reading this, I'm sure they don't.


• Isn't the text describing the rape scenes graphic enough to qualify as soft porn?


• What were the writer and editor thinking? And what was the writer doing while while watching those rape scenes?


• So was this story meant to inform or titillate?

And here's how the article ends:

The Hindi film rape was a mandatory scene at one point and there are many more scenes that we can add to our list. If you think you know of a brutal rape scene that we have missed out, go ahead and write to us.

Whatchya thinking? Go ahead, write to them. Not that it matters to them.

BTW, according to rumours, this story on "Sexual Violence" has Omar Qureshi's
blessings. He's one of the senior people in ToI handling movies.

*- Why did I not just refer to the story as Bollywood's Most Brutal Rapes? That's because the Indiatimes homepage links to the story as Sexual Violence. Don't believe me? Pay Indiatimes.com a visit. If you can't see it, let me know. I have screenshots to prove it.

Of Frogs and Politics

It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one politican makes a statement about another, the latter will respond. And the responses can get quite hilarious. Like the latest one:

"Mr. Sudarshan’s vision is that of a frog in a well."
-Brajesh Mishra

That's one heck of a creative phrase, I must say. This is what will make our morning reading much easier. We need a break from almost-won-yet-lost cricket matches, land scams and dance bars.

Another Sad Story

Rediff.com has always had Specials, at least as long as I can remember. And while there have been some good ones, there have been some absolutely meaningless ones as well. But this and this take the cake.

Bring out the glycerine... oops, the glittering jewellery. We Indians love our saas-bahu serials, don't we?

P.S.- Is Rediff taking a tip or two from the people at Medianet?

P.P.S.- For the uninitiated: know what Medianet is really about by reading this excellent Sucheta Dalal column. (Oops, yet another Rediff link!)

Just What the Doc Ordered

Given the fondness Amrus have for colour-coded alerts, a terror-alert van wouldn't be such a bad idea (from where do the Onion guys get such awesome ideas?).

On the other hand, if it's run by Murdoch-run Fox News or its siblings, it might as well be called the George W. Bush Van. And a red alert would probably be issued when a Sikh was spotted, or when a Catholic guy was seen buying condoms.

So, What's More Important?

University final exams on- the exams that will make me a graduate. And yet, this is what happens:

I walked into the college today, an irritated look on my face. My classmates were standing in a small group near the gate. I had an irritated look on my face.

Their remark: Why are you so worried?
My response: That idiot Ganguly just got clean bowled.
Them: Huh?
Me (grinning): The MATCH is on!
Them: Oh! (Their expression says 'Whatever!')

Unfortunately, I had to choose between Dhoni's innings and a two-hour paper on Broadcast Journalism.

Seen on NDTV Profit

Senior business journalist Vikram Chandra discussing mobile phones, of all things with some techie/gadget freak. The intelligent questions Vikram Chandra was asking were so what's good about X phone? And what features should someone look for when buying a mobile phone?

Sure, nothing wrong in asking such questions, but Vikram Chandra asking them? Why can't he hand over that show/segment to some rookie reporter? VC asking such questions seems ridiculous. Like Barkha Dutt reporting on a Page Three party. Or Prannoy Roy doing a vox pop on the latest Bollywood movie.

Open Letters

To Preity Zinta:
Journalists once called you the "only man in Bollywood" after you identified some underworld gangsters in the Bharat Shah case. So why do you have to lie now? Why do you even bother to say that no one ever approached you? You think readers are fools?

To Rajat Sharmaji:
Ok, I'm not going to tell you whether what you did was right or wrong. I just want to ask a few questions- were you even thinking of what you were doing? Did you even bother to ask yourself what the repurcussions of the operation will be? Not on Shakti Kapoor or Aman Verma, but on the journalism industry? So now the I&B Ministry is going to be demanding regulations for the broadcasting industry. Do you really want that?

To Sallu:
So we all know that you're trying to clean up your act, and project a good-boy image. What will the stories in BT and Mid-day. And it may just work. Who's your PR agent? (Maybe he could help out Rajatji as well.)


To Souravda:
Oh dear dear Souravda, much as I think that you are (or were) a good batsman, I really think you need to chill out, have some rosogollas, take stock of your batting, and then take action. Maybe we'll tell good ol' Geoffrey Boycott to perk you up a bit, and give you a piece of his mind.

To BJP members:
Kindly spare us this anti-US rhetoric. For once, we were almost on America's side, till we realised that wouldn't it be better if Modi just went to USA and got lost in the crowd there, never to be seen again?

Question for the Day

Sure, we've heard of police assistance during protest marches, cricket and football matches, and during WTO meets. But where else in the world do you need police vigilance for an exam?

What a dude!

He's been labelled the Indian Idol No. 1. And today's ToI had not one, but four stories on him, and he also adorned the masthead. Nope, it isn't Narain Karthikeyan, not even Sourav Ganguly, and neither is it Shah Rukh Khan. It's Lord Shiva! (Sorry, 'him' should have been 'Him' in the previous sentence).

Ok, so it's Maha Shivratri, but do we need a lesson on Lord Shiva? Bachi Karkaria's nonsensical anchor story is just another waste of space, and reading beyond the first paragraph of that story is a waste of time.

Does ToI plan to turn into a pseudo-religious newspaper? As if the spiritual columns were not enough, we now get religious lessons too! So during Ganesha festival, let's expect a four-page special report on Ganesha. And during Navratri, let's read about the Goddess. And during Janmashtmi, maybe they can inform us about Krishna as well. What about Prophet Mohammed, Buddha and Jesus Christ? Can the newspaper please teach us about them too?

Shall we call this the beginning of the religionisation of the Indian media?

Un-popular Choice Awards

Best Performance in a Disappearing Role: Atal Behari Vajpayee

Best Performance in an Unsupporting Role: Uma Bharti

Best Remake: US Presidential Elections 2004 (of the 2000 polls)

Best Pair: Leander Paes and Mahesh Bhupati (are they finally on or off?)

Best Performance in a Comedy Role: George W Bush

Best Comeback: Tehelka

Best Performance in a Fuming Role: Kareena Kapoor (thanks to Mid-day)

Best Non-performance: Indian cricket team

It's Back!

Mediaah is back. Finally an Indian media watchdog-cum-reporter with some credibility.

Time to Disco?

I just can't believe that a truly bad song like Disco 82 is popular and has apparently made it to the top of the charts (at least some, if not all of them). Where are all the talented musicians gone?

Good music doesn't necessarily mean the music we had in the past, but something which will live in public memory for a long, long time. So we all remember I want to break free, but how many even remember that there was once a song called Hit me baby one more time? When Britney's second album came out, the song was forgotten.

On the one hand, we're giving Americans and Brits a run for their money in several sectors. Why can't we at least have some good entertainment?