Indo-Pak tensions in Detroit

So we thought Indo-Pak tensions affected only Indians, Pakistanis and a few world leaders.

Sit straight and buckle up. For this seemingly-true, allegorical story by The Onion belies all beliefs.

Top 5 Ways to Become Famous

5. Read a book on health and open a health clinic or gym.

4. Join a high-profile football team and play badly.

3. Join the Al-Qaeda.

2. Write an article on an ageing leader's failing health, and possess two passports.

1. Run for President.